


After the Storm

by det395



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Bisexuality, Coming Out, Confessions, F/F, Fingering, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Grinding, Pining, Sexual Content, first part is G rated second is not but they can be standalone if u want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-27 01:50:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/det395/pseuds/det395
Summary: "She’d fallen in love with Angel, it was true and intense, even if it was never meant to be. She knew what fondness and stability felt like, Riley was always the one to give such comfort, even if he didn’t incite the passion she so longed for. She knew what it was like to crave someone, to feel that raw physical attraction that would just consume your brain, even if it was with an irredeemable vampire who she could never truly love. Buffy had made bad choices, but she had learned.Somehow, Willow was the polarizing three parts that she searched for so longingly."





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after the last episode. Dawn is also not written into this storyline.

Buffy picked at chipped paint on the wall as she leaned back on the countertop of their kitchen, just staring at Willow.

 

She was watching her rush back and forth looking for salt and pepper and flippers and utensils and whatever else she might need, looking unnecessarily frantic with furrowed eyebrows and tight lips as the eggs grew crisp around the edges.

 

They’d just moved into this apartment a few weeks ago and their small budget, which is closer to debt than a real budget, didn’t allow Buffy, Willow, and Xander to be roommates in such a nice suburban house after the old one exploded. Therefore, the new kitchen was unnecessarily small and they had to cramp whatever they had in the few drawers available, and it was taking a surprising while to get used to.

 

After the hell mouth nearly opened, they’d been so exhausted and had settled down in the cheapest possible apartment in the next small Californian town over. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, and what seemed like half of a real kitchen. Willow kept a blanket on their couch and always suggested they rotated, but more often than not Buffy coaxed her into sharing a bed by temptations of a sleepover or a movie. They’d both started ignoring Xander’s innuendo-filled suggestions that someone share his bed. Anya was venturing over most nights now anyway, to the misfortune of Willow and Buffy on the other side of such thin walls.

 

Most of the slayers had gone home after tearful goodbyes and gifts of scribbled emails and phone numbers, and even Giles had gone back to England, but promised to visit at least once a year. It was just their close group of friends now, and for her sanities sake, Buffy was grateful for the comfort and the quiet.

 

Kennedy had gone home, too, to Buffy’s concealed excitement. She’d felt a bit guilty until Willow had confided in her that Kennedy was never going to be the one. In Willows life at the right time, taught her to be happy, but not the one.

 

Buffy smiled to herself a little bit, thinking back, as Willow finally flipped her eggs onto the plate. She was selfishly happy to have Willow to herself.

 

Willow never seemed to notice when Buffy stared, so she stopped averting her eyes and wondered if Willow noticed any of her hints. She almost wished she would at this point.

 

“Two over easy eggs, coming up! Well, they’re kind of over medium…halfway to over hard? I’m sorry Buffy, the damn flipper was with the glasses. I’m going to blame Xander, he keeps putting things back wrong. Did you know he unpacked my tampons and put them in the pantry? I only just found them. How do we deal with that boy?” Willow rambled, passing Buffy her plate, in which everything was slightly burnt, even the toast, but endearingly so after seeing Willow so frazzled. Buffy could have helped, but she indulged herself in watching some mornings.

 

“I would have thought he’d throw the tampons out the window. He’s weak at feminine hygiene.” Buffy said.

 

“Maybe I should be wondering how he deals with us all the time.” Willow smiled, leaning back against the opposite counter.

 

Buffy watched Willow’s mouth as she smirked and felt her face heat up as Willow continued to stare back at her. She thought being an adult and being already so close to Willow would stop the hormonal nerves, but she was weak around Willow now.

 

“Maybe one day we can be roomies again, like just us. I miss it.” Willow said, starting to pick at her food so she didn’t see Buffy beam at her.

 

“Yeah. Me too. There’s no one else I’d really want to.” Buffy replied.

 

“It was nice. You’re much cleaner and more adult than Xander. Oh! But remember when you tried to microwave eggs and they exploded? It got everywhere!” Willow started giggling and Buffy laughed with her, feeling just a bit nostalgic for the late-night talks and constant company, before Willow started staying with Tara that is.

 

“How about when you were eating cookies in bed every night and it brought ants?” Buffy said in faux accusation.

 

“Okay, they could have come for any number of reasons. And I zapped them away!”

 

After eating and chatting for a few minutes, the noisy lock on the door rattled, and she heard the familiar sound of Xander’s heavy footsteps and a joking “honeys, I’m home!” from the front door. Buffy felt a bit annoyed, silly as it was, to have so little alone time.

 

“Any luck?” Willow asked when he walked into the kitchen pulling his already uneven tie off.

 

“Yeah, I was hired on the spot. I think he was desperate, the manager thinks all of Sunnydale is gonna move here now so I’ll be contracting for the new houses. I think he liked my pirate jokes too, that was probably the final selling point.” Xander patted his eyepatch as Buffy and Willow exchanged an exasperated glance.

 

“Well I’m proud of you, and now we can buy food for a little while longer,” Willow said, shoving toast covered in egg yolk into her mouth.

 

“You guys might be the strong, bad guy kicking ones but at least I can be masculine and be the breadwinner in this family.” Xander said sarcastically.

 

“Hey, I’m looking for a job too, y’know. I’m just enjoying my vacation from fighting hell, I think I deserve it.” Buffy said.

 

Willow only laughed, but Buffy knew even Willow had applied to be a student worker at the library while she went back to university and would probably be busier than all of them. But now it was them against the world in terms of being adults.

 

“You done, Buff?” Willow motioned to Buffy’s plate to take off her lap.

 

“I feel so spoiled, you’re getting serious brownie points.” Buffy said, letting Willow take her plate anyway. She felt a bout of satisfaction seeing surprise flash across Willow’s face at the comment.

 

“Well I’ll utilize that,” Willow smiled, before glancing in Xander’s direction then looking a bit shy and turning quickly

 

“Where is our soap?” Willow asked, pausing after dropping the dishes in the sink. Without waiting for an answer, she bent down to look in the closest cupboard.

 

She was still wearing pyjama shorts, patterned with sunflowers, and they stretched out at the movement, pulling tight against her. Buffy stared at the spot where they lifted up into upside down crescents at the top of her thighs. She subconsciously put her hand up to thumb across her own lip and crossed her legs, distracted.

 

After a cough from Xander, her head shot to the side. He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Buffy in confusion, raising one eyebrow when she glanced his way. Buffy felt her face heat up and she quickly jumped off the counter to busy herself with wiping down the stove with the closest towel she could find.

  
“Thanks,” Willow mumbled, turning back to her for a minute, and Buffy hid her face by looking the other way and nodding.

 

She hadn’t gotten laid since Spike, she’d been waking up almost every day with Willow on her arm with little clothes on because of the broken air conditioning, and she had endless free time to let her mind wander with Willow by her side constantly. She could justify the slight objectification to herself, but Xander was _not_ hearing that story.

 

***

 

Buffy had to succumb to complete avoidance of Xander’s gaze. At first, he’d give her confused glances and look between the two of them, silently asking for some explanation to which Buffy would just shake her head. He seemed to get an amusement out of it later, giving suggestive looks and downright crude hand expressions, and Buffy was now filled with embarrassment and fear for what he’d say in front of Willow.

 

When Willow said her goodbyes and went off to the library, she wasn’t at all surprised at the sudden confrontation.

 

“You have to tell me what’s going on.” Xander said.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Buffy replied immediately.

 

“Okay, no, because I thought I felt something going on but that there in the kitchen? You guys are _definitely_ fucking.” He said accusingly.

 

“I swear on my life we are not.” Buffy crossed her arms defiantly.

 

“Really? ‘Oh Willow, this couch is too small for you, come with me, come sleep in my bed we’ll cuddle up and have sleepovers every night.’ Yeah right you’re just sleeping in there, I see the way you look at her, Buffy, you guys can’t hide this from me anymore.” Xander said matter-of-factly, a lighthearted smile still on his face. Buffy frowned, feeling a sinking in her chest.

 

She looked at the opposite wall, avoiding his eyes.

 

“Buffy? You know I’m not judging, right?”

  
  
She stayed quiet still, scared emotions might come bubbling up.

 

“Willow’s the first person you’d date that I would trust probably, you’ve made much worse decisions before.” He was joking slightly still but by the softness in his voice, Buffy knew he really was offering support.

 

“It’s just…we actually aren’t dating. Or anything.” Buffy said quietly.

 

“Oh? Oh…wait, you’re not telling me she’s rejected you or something, right? She would never!” Xander furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he was trying to sort out a complicated puzzle in his brain.

 

“No, I just haven’t told her. And you can’t say _anything_ either, okay?” Buffy said quickly, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

 

“I wouldn’t, Buffy, I’m just a bit confused. I had no idea you even liked girls. Is this why you didn’t date me either back in high school?”

 

“No, I obviously like boys Xander. And I always thought girls would be…nice, even if I didn’t think I’d ever date one.” Buffy said, annoyed at the questions but undoubtedly a bit relieved to be saying this out loud.

 

“So, you wanna go to girls now?” He asked.

 

She just rolled her eyes at that one.

 

“Okay, okay. And you haven’t told her, because…?”

 

“It’s not that simple. I don’t know what she’ll say.”

 

“Buffy, look at you. Look at you guys together. There’s no way.”

 

***

 

A television was too expensive for three, broke young adults but if they set up Willow’s laptop on the coffee table a couple feet away it worked just fine.

 

This was most nights, the three of them laughing at cheesy monster movies that barely phased them more than any comedy after all they’d seen. Vampire movies especially made them laugh, but the romance and sexual themes in all of them hit a little too close to home for Buffy, to the amusement of Xander and Willow.

 

Watching their Dracula DVD again had gotten old apparently, and by the end, Willow was snoring softly in the middle of them, head lolled over onto Xander’s shoulder.

 

“I’d say let her sleep here but I’d guess you want to take her to bed?” Xander whispered, emitting a _shh_ from Buffy.

 

“Don’t wake her up.” Buffy said softly. Before Xander could question, Buffy gently pushed her arms under Willow’s knees and back and lifted her up effortlessly, smiling at Xander who looked uncharacteristically touched as she walked away.

 

She made sure to be gentle and slow as she pushed the door open with her back, hugging Willow to her chest so she would fit.

 

After looking at the nicely made bed for a moment, then lifted a leg up to kick the covers down, grateful for her superhuman strength so she could be graceful and not jostle Willow. She set her down gently, pausing for a moment before letting go in the warm embrace. She pecked Willow’s forehead without a second thought and slipped her arms out from under so Willow fell slack.

 

She hurried around to the other side and clambered under the sheets. She froze when she heard a quiet mumble next to her.

 

“You carried me to bed. I feel like a kid again.” Willow said, her voice slurred and raspy.

 

“You—wow, you made me carry you to bed and you were awake the whole time?” Buffy said, mouth falling open.

 

“No, I did fall asleep! I just woke up, but I didn’t want to walk anyways, I’m exhausted. Besides, that was cute.” Willow’s voice was high-pitched, almost like a coo.

 

Buffy felt her heart beat faster.

 

“Whatever. Night, Willow.” Buffy said, deciding not to fixate on her actions if Willow didn’t seem to be phased. They were both quiet for a minute.

 

“Can I hug you?” Willow asked quietly. Buffy didn’t reply for a moment until the question truly registered in her brain.

 

“What? Oh, yeah of course.” She said quickly, stomach lurching, “how do you want me?” She asked.

 

“You’re good,” was all Willow said, shuffling over to put her head on Buffy’s chest and wrap her arms around Buffy’s waist, a leg following to rest on her thighs. Warmth seemed to seep into her skin everywhere that Willow touched her. Especially their thighs, both of them wearing shorts to leave skin pressed together.

 

By the sound of her breathing, Willow seemed to be quickly asleep again, but Buffy was hyperaware of how fast and loud her heart was beating. It took a few moments to breathe and the position hit her, a deep feeling in her gut that made her feel a bit giddy. Willow often woke up holding onto Buffy’s arm, or pressed against her back, always defending herself that she did it during her sleep. This was close and purposeful, whether she was half asleep or not.

 

Even as the heat became worse and she started to sweat, Buffy refused to move. After a few minutes, it seemed like she might be too awake and alert from her nerves but she slowly relaxed and breathed in Willow’s shampoo next to her face, and drifted off quickly.

 

***

 

Buffy laid on her stomach, unbothered by the sticks and rocks poking her beneath the blanket. The sun was burning on her shoulders where she’d dropped her shirt and bra straps to avoid such a horrible tan line. She knew her face was slightly covered by big sunglasses, but otherwise, she didn’t try to conceal her gawking gaze watching Willow.

 

In the calm, summer air, bright hair still whipped around Willow’s face, a few strands stuck to Willow’s lip gloss, but she didn’t break concentration. Sitting cross-legged, back straight and eyes closed, she dug her fingers into the dirt and breathed heavily.

 

Slowly but surely, a bud peaked out of the dirt in front of her. It rose, twisting and distorting with leaves springing out the sides of the stem before a pretty flower revealed at the top. A pink lily, each petal perfectly symmetrical and dotted with spots.

 

Buffy glanced between Willow and the flower repeatedly, not knowing which was more pretty. Willow’s face surpassed simple concentration, her lips pouted out and her cheeks grew pink. She breathed heavily with her chest rising and falling like she was in bliss.

 

When she finally relaxed, she smiled softly with her eyelids still drooped. She picked the flower from the ground and held it out to Buffy, who took it and immediately breathed in the pretty, pollen scent.

 

Times like this were almost surreal. Willow was like a different person, completely in her element, calm and confident and romantic. It hurt Buffy to know this practice had been tainted by relapse before, but in this moment, Willow seemed truly at peace.

 

As Willow leaned back and took a break, she continued to swirl her hand around the ground, feeling each blade of grass.

 

“What does it feel like? Being so connected to nature?” Buffy asked softly, hoping she wasn’t ruining the moment for Willow.

 

Willow looked up and held out her hand, and Buffy scooted up towards her immediately, leaving the clean, soft blanket to sit on the ground.

 

Willow grabbed her with one hand and put the other on the ground again. Buffy followed suit, watching carefully.

 

She felt it almost immediately and swayed slightly where she was sat, dizzy with the peculiar feeling. She could feel the leaves in the trees sway slightly, she could sense life moving around beneath the dirt where they sat, and she could feel Willow.

 

Buffy had never asked, but she wondered if Willow could read Buffy as well as Buffy could read her in these moments. She felt the peace, comfort, the slight anxiety, and the fondness. Maternal to the earth almost, but different towards Buffy, an unexplainable love.

 

Willow looked up at Buffy knowingly, and they sat there, breathing softly, feeling everything.

 

***

 

“I cheated on my first girlfriend then left my second girlfriend at the altar and you really want to ask me for girl advice? I can almost guarantee that you…a girl…know better.” Xander said.

 

“I know it sounds simple, but I’ve always been the girl, okay? Not the one to buy flowers or ask them out, that’s not really something I thought about. Gender roles or whatever, I’m just nervous. I need a second opinion. Besides, you had a fling with her.” Buffy said, shrugging her shoulders dramatically. She wished desperately she had another girl friend to talk about this stuff with, but Anya would blab her mouth and Willow obviously wouldn't work.

 

“We just kind of made out behind the shelves in the library, it wasn’t exactly a love story.”

 

“Well do you think flowers are too much? I’m also too broke to take her out to dinner, and she’s a better cook than me…God, I just want to do it right.”

 

Xander just stared at her exasperatedly.

 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“Buffy, this is _Willow,_ not some random girl you saw across the room. You’re gonna ask her out and she’s going to tell you about the crush she’s had on you forever and then you’re gonna get married like next week because you basically are already. Do you have to make domestic breakfasts without me every morning? I like eggs too.” Xander whined.

 

“She’s had a crush on me?” Buffy asked, bewildered.

 

“Probably. I mean she was just as nervous as me around you in high school sometimes. She’d have done anything for you, I mean I was just an idiot but she went full in researching monsters and hacking for you with a rational mind. That’s something.”  Xander said.

 

“Maybe she does feel something. But what if it doesn’t work out?” Buffy pressed her lips together, irrational thoughts whizzing through her mind.

 

“If you can get through the end of the world multiple times together, I think you can get through anything. Damn, now that’s a power couple.”

 

Soon, Buffy thought. Willow would know.


	2. Part 2

Fettucini Alfredo was on the stove, sauce from a can but good enough, and flowers were sitting on the counter. A pretty bouquet of lilacs and tulips, since roses seemed a bit too much.

 

Buffy paced quickly back and forth in the kitchen, glancing repeatedly at the flowers before grabbing them and running to their bedroom to hide them in the closet. She’d pull them out when she was ready, the immediate confrontation was too much to bear, and Willow was nearly back from the library so there was no time to calm her nerves.

 

She’d convinced Xander to go out tonight. After a few minutes of pressure in the flower store she got him to buy some roses for Anya and now he was asking her out for a dinner. It was somehow less bad when they were both overrun with nerves.

 

She stirred the sauce too fast and sent some splashing on the stove, and had to remind herself to calm down.

 

The noise of the door made Buffy jump slightly. She sucked in a last deep breath, before putting a smile on her face.

 

“Hey, Will! Dinner gonna be done soon, Will. You should go set up a movie on the couch for dinner…Will.” Buffy said quickly, heart quickening already. Willow stared at her in confusion.

 

“Alright, Buff. You all good? Why are you saying my name like that?” She asked.

 

“I’m fine, Will!” Buffy nodded excitedly, watching until Willow slowly walked away to go grab her laptop from their room. She really needed to relax.

 

After quickly testing some noodles, burning her tongue in the process, she quickly served up the pasta on two plates, putting them on one arm like a server and grabbing wine and two glasses in the other, holding on tight. She hoped the wine didn’t taste as cheap as it cost.

 

She smiled at the gasp emitted from Willow as she struggled to set everything down on the coffee table.

 

“What’s this for? And where’s Xander?” Willow’s voice had gone high pitched, and she moved closer to Buffy and stared at her with big eyes.

 

“Xander’s out with Anya, and this is for you, silly.” Buffy said, flashing a smile. Willow stared into her eyes with sincerity as her expression relaxed a bit.

 

“It looks amazing, and wine too! You’re not trying to break me bad news or anything, right? Are you moving to Africa?” Willow asked.

 

“No, of course not. Just eat and enjoy! You act like I’ve never done anything nice for you before.” Buffy laughed as she poured them some wine. They hadn’t bothered to buy wine glasses and it didn’t look as elegant in the tiny, plastic cups they had.

 

“You’re always nice, this is just very…romantic.” Willow said slowly, and Buffy froze for a second before Willow carried on quickly. “It’s very nice, that’s all! It smells great.”

 

Willow quickly picked up a fork and shoved pasta in her mouth, and Buffy smiled at her, trying to gain back Willow’s eye contact. After a moment, she just leaned back close enough to press their arms together instead, her body angled towards Willow.

 

“Well I tried.” Buffy said quietly. She couldn’t mistake the growing blush or the slight confusion on Willow’s face. She thought she could enjoy this a bit before she saved Willow from her obliviousness.

 

Buffy focused on the movie, pretending to ignore the tension that was obviously there. Her heart still beat erratically in her chest. Her irrationality did tend to come out in moments like this, thoughts that Willow might not actually react well.

 

Buffy ate slowly, starting to ask Willow about her day, what she was studying, how she was, and she could feel Willow relax against her arm as her voice became calmer. The impending words didn’t seem to weigh so heavily on her, either. They would always have this connection, she was sure of it. She listened to Willow ramble on and felt such fondness thinking that they could be like this forever. This was what she wanted.

 

She’d fallen in love with Angel, it was true and intense, even if it was never meant to be. She knew what fondness and stability felt like, Riley was always the one to give such comfort, even if he didn’t incite the passion she so longed for. She knew what it was like to crave someone, to feel that raw physical attraction that would just consume your brain, even if it was with an irredeemable vampire who she could never truly love. Buffy had made bad choices but she had learned.

 

Somehow, Willow was the polarizing three parts that she searched for so longingly. 

 

She finished off her pasta, glugged some bitter wine, and sat back to wait for Willow to finish. Once Willow put her plate down too, Buffy casually slipped an arm through Willow’s so they were linked. She grabbed Willow’s hand and started massaging her palm, playing with each finger before slowing her movements and just cradling Willow’s hand in her own.

 

Looking up finally, Willow didn’t look nervous like she’d expected. It was sometimes a surprise to see how put together Willow was after so many years of uncertainty in herself. She held Buffy’s gaze, eyelids slightly drooped, and while she was probably still confused, she didn’t show it.

 

Buffy sat in silence for a few minutes, grateful Willow wasn’t hounding her to say something. Willow could read her better than anything and suddenly it felt like they were in this together, rather than the daunting confession she’d thought before. She squeezed Willow’s hand and leaned in further, indulging in the closeness, thinking about how long she’d waited for this.

 

“You’ve probably noticed what’s happening?” Buffy said finally.

 

“I think I need you to spell it out, I’m a bit dumbfounded.” Willow looked down shyly now. Buffy paused then, realizing there was some disconnect.

 

She thought through her words carefully, wanting to be organic, none of the things she’d planned out so carefully earlier when freaking out over this being perfect.

 

“It just seems a bit cliché for a girl to fall in love with her best friend, doesn’t it?” Buffy said softly. To her surprise, Willow dropped her head in her hands inciting panic in Buffy that she’d said something wrong, until she looked up again a second later with a huge smile on her face, a short laugh breaking through.

 

“You can’t do this to me, you literally gave me butterflies. I think I’m having a fever dream.” Willow was giggling now and she leaned forward to rest on her head, looking back at Buffy.

 

Buffy looked at her in surprise, smiling big now. She covered her face with her hands for a second while Willow seemed to recover, face red and bright.

 

“You can’t laugh at me, I’m nervous.” Buffy said, laughing lightheartedly.

 

“I’m not, really, I just…. I’m surprised, I guess. I guess I thought you might’ve liked girls a little by the way we talk about the Spice Girls, but why me? Why now? After all this time? What’s happened in the last few weeks? I mean, we’ve been best friends for years, Buff.” Willow stared at her expectantly, and Buffy paused, thinking about how much had been going through her head and how much she really had to explain.

 

“I guess…I hadn’t really thought about it before? I knew I was going to marry a man, or so I thought. It didn’t seem like a girl was an option. And when you dated Tara, I thought about it more, but you guys were together. Later on, things were just so unstable. I didn’t even want to look for a relationship when it felt like everything was constantly falling apart. It didn’t feel like I could be happy, even.” Buffy said.

 

“I’m sorry.” Willow said, sincerity in her eyes, bottom lip downturned.

 

“It’s okay, really. Because after we survived, it hit me so fast. I was out of the thing with Spike, and it feels like things will really be okay now. I know I’ll be fighting the world forever, but maybe I can have a normal life too, and a normal love for once. And when we spent time together, it just seemed so obvious, like there was no other option for me. I don’t want to look for someone else, I want you here. I know I always did, on the inside, but now it seems possible and it’s all I want. I just...love you.” Buffy finished, head spinning knowing her words were out in the open. Things felt much clearer when she said them out loud.

 

Before she could say anything else, she felt arms wound around her neck and jostle her backward slightly. With a sharp shriek, Buffy let her arms wrap around Willow’s waist, holding her just as tight back. For a few moments Willow just clung to Buffy’s neck with her face over her shoulder, and Buffy leaned into her.

 

 “I couldn’t not love you, Buffy.” Willow said softly, and Buffy felt it like it hit her chest, making her feel for a second like she could cry. With a thought, she jolted backward.

 

“One second,” Buffy said, getting up and running to her room to quickly retrieve the flowers and walk back slowly into the room, cradling them in her arms. She could never get used to the delightfully surprised look that kept popping up on Willow’s face tonight.

 

“I—I can’t even believe this is real. I can’t believe _you_ are real.” Willow sputtered, taking the flowers in her arms and shoving her face in them to take a deep breath in. She held them close to her chest, closing her eyes. Buffy scooted closer and grabbed one of Willow’s hands.

 

In one quick motion, Willow turned to Buffy and quickly pressed her lips to Buffy’s. Short and chaste, snagging Buffy’s lower lip between hers for a few seconds before pulling back with a soft noise. It was Buffy’s turn to stare in delighted shock.

 

“I know by some standards that was moving too fast, but in many ways, I have literally been waiting years to do that.” Willow said. The blush radiated off of her cheeks, pronounced by her red, chapped lips and complimenting hair, looking like someone straight from a painting.

 

“I’m not sure if this is real myself, now.” Buffy smiled wide now.

 

Willow quickly stood up, mumbling about what they can use for a vase. Buffy followed her slowly, standing in the kitchen doorway as Willow unwrapped the flowers and snipped each end carefully with kitchen scissors, turning each flower over in her hands delicately to appreciate it. She grabbed a large, plastic water bottle and fit each flower in, filling it up with water. It looked a bit silly, but Willow spun it around and stared like it was the most endearing thing in the world.

 

After finishing up, she turned back to Buffy and they stared in each other’s eyes for a few moments, unwavering with small smiles.

 

“What do you want to do now, Willow? We have the whole evening to ourselves.” Buffy leaned back on the wall, hips jutting out slightly.

 

“I think I just want to be close to you, lay in bed.” Willow said after a moment, holding Buffy’s eyes.

 

“Taking me to bed already, Will?”

 

Willow laughed at that, and Buffy felt her stomach flip slightly at the confidence emitting from her.

 

“I’m a classy lady, Buffy. But I do really want to cuddle with you.” Willow started walking forward, taking the flowers to which Buffy beamed at her and took her hand.

 

With the flowers set delicately on the bedside table, they quickly crawled into bed, fumbling slightly and awkward, until Willow just pushed Buffy on her side and scooted closer, so they were facing each other in a loose embrace. Buffy felt her breath catch and wondered if there was any chance this was just another nice dream that she’d been having.

 

“I feel a bit like this is a bit surreal, even though I had an idea it was happening.” Willow said softly, looking a lot more comfortable than Buffy, scooting closer still. Buffy wondered if the nerves and butterflies would settle eventually, but her body felt like a livewire right now. She wasn’t even sure she could breathe properly, but she was comforted by Willow’s burning, red cheeks. It was like they were back in high school, giggly and nervous.

 

“So, it was obvious, huh?” Buffy asked.

 

“I know when a woman’s flirting with me Buffy.” Willow raised her eyebrows suggestively. “I just wasn’t sure if you were having a quarter-life crisis and I should try to keep my hopes in check. You’ve been very confusing, you know.”

 

At that, Buffy gave in and closed the gap, kissing her lips hard to Willow’s before opening her mouth very slight to suck in Willow’s upper lip.

 

Willow looked slightly dumbfounded when Buffy pulled back.

  
“It’s just that I’ve been literally been waiting years to do that.” Buffy mocked, and they both laughed gently.

 

Willow moved closer, fitting her head under Buffy’s chin and hugging close to Buffy’s waist, beginning to rub Buffy’s back gently.

 

“For me, it took me a while to realize I liked girls too, I know you know that. I thought the nerves and the attachment were normal, but looking back I realized how I felt about you early on. This strong, hot girl wanting to be my friend over anyone else? I felt so special and undeserving, I was worried you’d move on, too, but you never did. I should have known that I'm gay, really, I don’t know how I handled wanting you all to myself. How I stared at you all the time and wanted you to sleep over every night. I’d lay next to you and think about how I wanted to be closer to you, and I felt like it wasn’t right, so I didn’t do it. It was easier with Tara, she led me, but I could have never imagined something like this with _you._ ” Willow said into Buffy’s neck, tickling her slightly with her breath.

 

“I never would have guessed that you felt that way about me, honestly. I just felt such a deep connection to you, like you were my comfort and my partner. I guess it was an attachment too, it wasn’t just you.” Buffy said thoughtfully.

 

“Maybe we were never normal friends, maybe we were more.”

 

“Maybe that’s why this feels just like normal.” Buffy whispered, and felt a slight nod from Willow.

 

Willow lifted her head up, staring into Buffy’s eyes for a few long moments. Buffy wondered why she even had such intense nerves before, this was _Willow,_ and she could never be so confident about anything. Buffy smiled wide before ducking her head and reattaching their lips, the excitement making her feel like she could be a bit daring.

 

Their lips moved languidly together, and each time they sped up they slowed themselves down and backed off, pressing chests and hips together but pulling back timidly each time. They kept their lips together for what felt like only a few minutes but could have been any amount of time, tongues brushing against lips but not pushing any further. Despite the slow, careful making out, they finally pulled back breathless, hair slightly messed up already.

 

“Does this feel real to you, yet?” Buffy asked, leaning back a bit.

 

“No, more surreal if anything.” Willow said, breathing heavier. At Buffy’s movement, she twisted a hand in her blond hair, pulling tight and Buffy complied immediately, coming in harder and flicking a tongue up to the inside of Willow’s jutting upper lip. They both gasped at the movement, but pulled closer, not bothering with the same slow speed.

 

Without thinking about anything but her desire to get closer, Buffy rolled on top of Willow, effortlessly holding herself up but pressing close on Willow anyways, boobs pressed together. Willow blatantly stared down at Buffy’s body and her tank top that was slightly twisted around her torso already, her eyes wide. Buffy kissed her again, hard, before pulling back again and staring into Willow’s suddenly blown out pupils.

 

In a moment of self-awareness, Buffy pushed herself up off Willow slightly, to which Willow grabbed her waist to stop her. Keeping her hands close, she scratched her blunt nails up and down Buffy’s sides, emitting a shiver from Buffy. Buffy collapsed down more at this point, limbs feeling uncharacteristically weak.

 

With soft fingertips, Willow trailed up Buffy’s side one more time and under her arms to lightly stroke up her neck to hold her cheeks and lift Buffy’s head up. Buffy let her eyes fall closed, feeling overwhelmingly pleasured at the closeness and the light touches on her sensitive skin, leaving goosebumps all down her arms.

 

“Buff? Do you think we’re going too fast?” Willow asked softly, holding Buffy’s cheeks still.

 

Resisting the urge to immediately ask Willow to keep touching her anywhere she wants, Buffy thought hard for a moment.

 

“We’ve been best friends for years, I almost feel like we’re close enough to skip a few steps.” Buffy said.

 

“You’ve never slept with a girl, right?” Willow asked. Buffy felt a bit shy, suddenly aware of her inexperience, and she shook her head.

 

“We’ll take it at your speed, okay? I just kind of want to know if I can grope you.” Willow continued on, joking but with undeniable sincerity behind her eyes, making sure Buffy was okay.

 

With any other girl, she might be a bundle of nerves, but this was Willow, who she’d already bared her soul to many times, and she’d been craving this closeness for as long as she could remember. Her body moved before her brain did, and she wanted to let herself get lost in it.

 

She put her hands down on Willow’s hips, massaging her fingertips into Willow’s skin, careful to be gentle enough not to accidentally bruise with her strength. Willow sighed at the feeling in response, and Buffy kissed her again, moving her lips with intent before biting softly on Willow’s bottom lip. To Buffy’s satisfaction, a small sound emitted from Willow’s throat, and her hands immediately found their way down to Buffy’s boobs, cupping them in her hands.

 

“Okay?” Willow asked, freezing and pulling back quickly. It took self-control for Buffy not to follow her lips.

 

“Good, yeah, touch me.” Buffy said quickly, leaning in again, feeling hands massage her chest, the pleasure making her want to press down closer.

 

Pressing her hips down and feeling frustrated at the lack of pressure, Buffy threw a leg between Willow’s, both of them reacting by twitching into each other, Willow squeezing her boobs harder.

 

Willow pushed down Buffy’s tank top more so the top of her bra and cleavage spilled out, and Buffy felt frustrated that Willow had a sweater on so she immediately pushed it up her stomach a few inches, searching for skin.

 

They stared at each other again, both shocked at the speed.

 

“Well, this is happening.” Buffy said, more self-aware and giddy than anything.

 

Buffy rubbed herself ungracefully on Willow’s thigh, dignity dissolving, and Willow gently pushed her hips down until she was in a better position, thighs pressed against each other’s crotches. “Slow down,” Willow whispered and Buffy focused on self-control and carefully dragged her hips forward and backward, both frustrated and relieved at the new touching.

 

Buffy shoved Willow’s sweater up more in one quick swoop so it was up above her bra, exposing her long torso. Buffy used her strength to hover halfway above Willow with one hand, staring down at her and keeping gentle motions going with her hips.

 

Willow stared up at her and traced her fingers up Buffy’s arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps again, before her hand traveled back down Buffy’s side all the way down to her butt. Willow’s eyes portrayed a question and Buffy nodded, giving Willow the permission to squeeze and roam her hands around the tight yoga pants.

 

Buffy’s eyes searched across Willow’s body, feeling such intense wonder for her best friend. She shyly dragged her hand up Willow’s torso, over her bra, slipping her thumb up under the wire.

Willow pulled down on Buffy’s ass.

 

“More.” She breathed, and Buffy immediately pressed down on her and sped up her grinding. She focused her thigh on Willow’s crotch but couldn’t help but grind herself down on Willow’s thigh at the same time, feeling frustrated that it wasn't enough for her.

 

“Can you believe just yesterday we were only friends?” Buffy said quietly, barely out of breath with her stamina. Willow let out a breathy laugh and Buffy joined in.

 

“Shut up, God I can’t believe this is happening already, you feel so good.” Willow said, breathing heavily after.

 

Buffy ducked her head, mouthing at Willow’s neck, and eliciting a moan louder than before, though Willow was still so quiet, all whines and noises from the back of her throat it sounded like she couldn’t hold in. Spurred on by the reaction, Buffy sucked on Willow’s neck, nibbling ever so slightly.

 

Willow twitched and squirmed under her for a few minutes until almost desperately pulling Buffy closer until Buffy used more of her strength to grind down hard and fast. Willow’s feet wrapped around the back of Buffy’s thigh, and Willow let out gasping noises, her whole body tensing under Buffy, hips lifting up.

 

Buffy kept sucking a mark into Willow’s neck until last minute when she lifted her head, the urge to look at Willow too strong. She was glad she did, staring into Willow’s eyes, seeing an expression she’d never seen before from her. It was like seeing a new level of Willow and it sparked arousal in her gut.

 

Willow slowly collapsed, letting her arms fall back on the bed, a smile spreading out on her face.

 

Buffy stared down at Willow for a minute before slowly rolling off, needing a moment to rest too. Feeling frustrated, she moved one of her hands lower to press over her pants. Willow seemed to come back into reality seeing it, rolling up next to Buffy and shooting a hand down to grab Buffy’s waistband.

 

“Do you want me to?” She asked, thoughtful as ever. Buffy didn’t have the patience to even reply, shoving Willow’s hand down her pants herself.

 

A clumsy hand explored around her crotch, the wetness immediately a relief for friction. Her hips twitched when Willow pressed down in the right spot, and Willow quickly repeated her actions, taking a few fumbling moments to build up consistency while starting to kiss Buffy again.

 

Buffy grabbed onto Willow’s back now, dragging her close almost too roughly, having to remind herself that she couldn’t crush Willow, she wasn’t another vampire or man on steroids and she had to be gentle. She felt a swoop in her stomach at how lovely the gentleness sounded in this moment, because it was Willow in her arms and not someone else.

 

It was Buffy’s turn to let out a noise now, shocked at the pressure building in her stomach, so much focus on her now with Willow touching her, another hand scratching at the back of her neck, and her mouth trailing down to bite at Buffy’s ear now. Willow breathed out against Buffy’s ear, sending another wave of shivers down Buffy’s spine. It crossed her mind that she’d never had sex like this, her whole body so alive.

 

Buffy resisted the urge to manhandle Willow on top of her but couldn’t help but scratch at Willow’s skin, feeling so on the edge but not wanting to let go of such a good feeling.

 

Eventually, as Willow sucked mercilessly on her ear, Buffy felt pleasure radiate through her, and she moved her hips along with Willows hand, breathing out slowly and closing her eyes, indulging in the feeling as long as she could until the sensation faded and she fell slack.

 

Willow slowly withdrew her hand, an expectant expression on her face. As soon as Buffy opened her eyes and looked up, they smiled wide and amused at each other.

 

Willow turned over and hugged Buffy again, giggling. Buffy always knew that Willow was affectionate, playing with her hair and holding her hand, but it seemed now Willow would be all over her, which was more than okay.

 

They settled down on the one pillow and looked into each other eyes, hair all wild around their faces.

 

“Is this an appropriate moment to ask you out?” Buffy asked, and Willow laughed again, nodding excitedly.

 

“I think we’re very far past best friends now, so will you be my girlfriend maybe?” Buffy asked, feeling giddy at the old hormonal crush feeling she hadn’t felt so intensely since high school.

 

“Of course. How could I not fall in love with my best friend?” Willow beamed at Buffy.

 

Just months ago, Buffy had a death wish. Again. Alone in the world until she died to fight against a power so strong she could never hold it off herself. Now, with slayers everywhere and Sunnydale decimated, she felt closer to being a normal woman. She could dream about a job and a future, a marriage and kids, and _happiness._ This felt like the first step to her true self and indulgence.

 

Feeling on the border of getting emotional, Buffy lifted a hand to graze against Willow’s face and raw lips. This face she’d seen so much over the years, but it still felt like a blessing to be able to stare.

 

Willow’s eyes slowly drooped and she cuddled up as close as she could, clearly burnt out with bliss. Buffy didn’t feel like she would be able to sleep ever again due to such adrenaline, but she happily held Willow and traced her back, over the small red scratch lines and crescent-shaped nail marks she’d left.

 

Clinging to each other, they heard the door open. Immediately they fixed up their twisted clothes.

 

Listening carefully for Xander, they heard bumps coming from the next room over, and unmistakable moaning. They looked at each other exasperatedly.

 

“Shall we outdo them?” Willow said, eliciting a loud laugh from Buffy.

 

“We definitely will, payback.”

 

Shuffling closer still, they wrapped their arms around each other.

 

“You really think we’ll be okay from now on, Will?” Buffy asked.

 

“Yeah, Buff. Undoubtedly. We’ll get through anything together, just like we always have. You know I’m willing to fight for us.”

 

“Maybe this was long coming, but I really do feel like this is a new beginning. I think I’m going to be happy.” Buffy said, emotions spilling over of all sorts, an overwhelming influx of thoughts for what happened.

 

Willow smiled at her, eyes sparkling.

 

“I do love you.” Buffy said.

 

“And I love you. Always have.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback appreciated! or [reblog on tumblr](https://sweettwillow.tumblr.com/post/171628822982/after-the-storm)


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